But really
by wader
Summary: A short fic, set around season 3. My version of how Bad Girls should have gone...


"But really... we're just good friends." She says, hanging her arm around my shoulder and pulling me close. I smile to her friends, that shit eating grin I'm famous for gracing my lips as we flirt for them. We've been dancing, her body grinding against mine, all a show for the boys, the slayers playing. If only she knew that I wanted to be anything but a good friend, that her movements on that dance floor drive me crazy, that sometimes I just want to throw her against the wall and show her what it's really like to be loved. That brooding bloodsucker would have nothing on me. I drag her away, tell her our songs coming on. One with just enough of a beat to keep us moving, to keep that sweat beading on her brow, and her top to cling to her body just a tiny bit more.

She pulls me close, wraps one arm around my neck, the other grabbing my hand and pulling it above our heads. Our hips moving together slowly as my heart rate increases. We're no longer dancing to the beat, we're moving just us, just our heartbeats, just the slayers. I can hear hers, I can hear her blood pulsing through her veins, I can hear her body reacting to me and for a moment I pretend that she wants this as much as I do.

I push her away, the groans from the prepubescent boys surrounding us bringing me back to the club that we're in. I need to get away from her, need to get this itch off my skin, this burning out of my chest. I turn and walk out of the Bronze, ignoring her behind me. I can hear her of course. The joys of slayer hearing, our never ending connection, I can always tell when she's near. I often wonder if that's really a slayer thing, or just an 'us' thing. The cold wind hits the sweat on my body as I push the heavy door, breathing in deeply, trying to rid her scent from my nostrils. I start up a run, wanting to keep my body on full alert, knowing I'll be distracted enough tonight without being cold too.

I can hear her behind me now. Running slowly, just keeping pace. She's not next to me though, not asking why I left, where I'm going. Some part of my brain wonders if she knows. I turn onto the cemetery road, certain that there would be something there to dust, some ungodly hell creature to beat on and take my frustrations out on, but there's nothing. I slow to a walking pace, allowing her to catch up to me.

"It'll be light soon. I wonder if that nest is still around"

I don't turn to look at her as I talk, keeping my voice low and monotone. I refuse to let my emotions through, I refuse to lock eyes with her because as soon as I do, she'll know. She'll know and she'll reject me and I'll be nothing more than the bad, dirty, slut of a slayer that everyone thinks... knows... I am.

"Fai..."

"Don't B."

I cut her off and start to run again, not wanting to hear what she was going to say. I cant handle her jokes, or her one liners or the sympathy in her voice. I need to be away from her.

Why is she still next to me?

I don't know where I'm going now. I finally stop, and sit on the top of an old crypt. I'm not out of breath, I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. She sits next to me, stake in hand, as though this were any other night, any other stakeout for the uptight ones, waiting on a big bad to surface. Only tonight there isn't. There's just us.

I can hear her heartbeat again. Returning to normal after the run, pfft, run... jog more like. Its still too fast though, too erratic. I glance at her.

Why?

Our eyes lock and she smiles at me. She's doing that thing with her mouth that the boys like. Apparently it works on girls too... or well on me anyway. I try to pull my eyes away but I can't. I'm transfixed by her lips, and the images in my mind of them doing all manner of ...

I shake my head.

No.

I can't allow those thoughts to enter my head. I've tried banishing them so many times and then all she has to do is smile and I'm right back there, following her around like a love sick puppy.

She fidgeting with the stake, twirling it in her hands as though it were simply an extension of herself. It is of course, for both of us. Its who we are, its why we connect. Its what gives us a reason. I turn to look at her. Truth be told, she gives me a reason. I would have left after all that shit with the evil watcher, Miss Post, if it weren't for her. One of those doe eyed looks from her and I realize I never really want to leave her side.

I reach out and grab the stake.

"For the love of God... stop it."

And now she's pouting. Great. Make more of an emphasis of those lips, cos I don't stare at them enough as it is! I roll my eyes, she thinks at her look, but really its at the stupid thoughts in my head. She's still pouting. I know she wont stop till I give in and give it back. But something stops me. Could be that I kinda like her mad at me, could be that she looks adorable sitting looking like that... could be the way my bodies reacting to her yet again...

Yep. Could be any of those things.

I turn.

"What now?"

"I dunno, you're the one that brought us out here..."

"I meant, what's with the face. And I didn't bring you out here, you came out here on your own steam. I'll tell you one thing, you'll never have a career as a professional stalker." I smirk, successfully getting the attention off our being out here in the first place.

"What! I so could! I'm like... stealthy and stuff. I'm a superhero! I have mad stealthy skills!" She jumps up and starting stalking around me, her body low, her eyes focused on one thing and one thing only. Me.

I know she's playing, she's proving a point, but I cant help but swallow the lump that's risen in my throat.

Suddenly out of nowhere I'm on my back, pinned to the top of the crypt, cursing myself for letting my mind wander. That's how we die, we lose concentration for one moment and that's it. I swallow, trying to calm my heart once more. I know she's heard it, that infuriating cock of the head proves as much as she holds my arms above me, forcing me to surrender to her.

I struggle against her, not putting my all into it. Really this is too good a position to fight against. She's still staring at me, her head is still leant to the side, her body is still pressed against me. It takes everything in me not to moan, not to force my leg between hers and show her what it could be like.

She's still smirking.

"What?" I finally let out, frustrated.

"Nothing." She's still smirking.

I struggle against her again, putting more of an effort in this time causing her to straddle my waist to hold me down. I look up at her swallowing again.

"Uh... B?"

She doesn't say anything, just looks down on me, her eyes suddenly dark with something I cant quite place. My hands are still above my head, my breathing ragged as she leans down to my ear.

"Not gonna lie, I've thought of you... dreamt of you in this position more than once" She says brazenly into my ear, her hot breath tickling the sensitive skin there. I'm stunned, trying to figure out if she's playing me, joking to get my guard down again.

And then it happens. I feel her tongue drag along my ear lobe, pulling it into her mouth and biting softly.

I moan. Loudly. I can't help it. My whole body shudders. I can feel the smile on the lips now as she pulls back. That look is still in her eyes and I still don't know how to deal with it. She leans in slowly, her lips barely brushing mine.

"I know you want it too. I've seen you, the way you look at me, the way your eyes follow me how your heart beats for me. I was waiting... hoping you'd do it, push me against that wall and kiss me like I know you wanted to. Apparently though all that talk was just that... talk."

Her lips are still just grazing mine, not actually kissing me. I growl, forcing my head up, my lips onto hers and finally I taste her.

And it's heaven. She's sweet, she's warm, she's open for me. I moan into the kiss as I feel her give in finally as well, her body tense and waiting for me now. She releases my hands, tangles hers in my long hair, tugging slightly, making me flood with desire for her. I pull her down onto me hard, her hips grinding against my stomach as our tongue tangle. In my mine this moment always happened in a room somewhere, even in my dingy motel room, but I suppose its somewhat apt. We are after all in our most comfortable environment.

My hands slide under her top, breaking the kiss to pull it off her not watching where I throw it as my eyes roam her body. I've seen her in very little before, but now, being allowed to look unabashedly I can't help but stare. Her breathing's ragged as my hands slide slowly up her bare torso, feeling the rippling muscles underneath, before cupping her breasts softly, her nipples pushing against my palms.

She's sitting up now, her head thrown back in ecstasy as I touch her and I'm filled with even more confidence.

Suddenly I move, she's on her back now, while I hover above her, her bra discarded, her tight trousers undone. I start kissing down her chest, stopping to pull erect nipples into my mouth, to tease her more, to feel her shudder again.

Her hands are on my head again, encouraging me to continue, giving me the sign that she needs this as much as I do. I kiss down her torso, sliding her trousers off her legs and I kiss lower, exposing her to me.

I moan.

"oh fuck B..." I say, spreading her legs as I kiss the top of each thigh softly.

She's whimpering. I lift my head to make sure she's alright and am struck by what I see. Her eyes shut in anticipated bliss, her hands still on my head urging me forwards.

I inhale, my body shuddering at her scent before my tongue drags through her folds causing her to buck into me.

If I thought kissing her was heavenly this is... indescribable. Her taste, the feel of her... its... its everything I've ever dreamed of.

She's writhing as my tongue slides through her center, loving her. Her hands on my head pull me closer into her, pull me towards her, guiding me to where she needs me most. I give in, my tongue moving to her most sensitive areas flicking and sucking and circling.

She's breathing harder now, her hands in my hair pulling harder and harder as I bring her closer to the edge. I need this. I need her to explode. To prove to me that this is real. I don't relent, don't, even for a minute, stop.

And then it happens. She tenses, her breathing hitches and she screams my name into the night, holding me there the whole time, letting me feel her ecstasy.

And then she's spent.

I kiss up her body, back to her lips. She's shivering as I hold her close, pull her into my arms and whisper in her ears.

"That's why we're out here B." I say softly as I kiss her temple, feeling her body slowly coming down from her high. A high I took her on.

That shit eating grin is back on my face, and for once its not a show because for once I got the girl, she's in my arms to prove it.

"Can we go home now?" She asks, looking at me with those big doe eyes completely obvious of the fact she's still completely naked. I giggle softly.

"You giggle now?" She laughed, tracing my lips with her fingers.

"Oh baby, I do so many things you're yet to learn." I throw her a top and her jeans, disappointed as she pulled them onto her body, covering herself from me once more.

She looks up, slightly scared, before I'm there again, kissing her, loving her once more.

And with a smirk I collect her in my arms holding her closer than I've ever held someone before, knowing I'll never let go.


End file.
